So if nobody knows about what happened… I took a job at Isagenix… a company down in Chandler that does Nutrition and supplements as well as Multi-tier marketing…
The company is a good company… and if I was under another manager or in a different division, it probably would have been a great company to work for.
But:
When your co-workers are telling you
*that you should have picked another job.. even if it was 5 grand less…
*That it is cute when I am all excited about wanting to change things… I will get over that soon.
*They are just numb to it.
*Your creativity will die
OR…
You get yelled at fixing something, and your manager is upset that you have access to that server.
OR… when you are given a project to do, and are refused information or access to do that project. Then told that you should hold off… Then the manager does it.
It is time for me to move on in such a short week. I am going to take about a month off of searching for a job. Pick it up in February.
So long, and thanks for all the fish…
When I look into your eyes I see the sorrow that you wish to convey to me. You long for that one thing that makes you happy; that simple thing that brings you back for more. In that one glare, I see the need and the love that reaches out calling for you…
To throw the rubber grommet for me!
I am not balanced. I am not in tune with myself. I am not anywhere near where I should be. But I am walking a path to myself. It is the long way around, but it is the right way.
So I am the asshole.
It is my fault that she wants to text me every 40 days or so.
It is my fault that my closest friend has finally had enough of her, and wants her to stop harassing me.
It is my fault that I don’t want to be friends with her.
It is my fault that she became distant in the relationship, and I wanted to fix it.
It is my fault that I talk with my friends about my problems, and appreciate them enough to ask for their advice.
It is my fault that I care enough to hurt so much about it.
It is my fault that after she wanted nothing to do with me, I might hate her for throwing away what I gave her.
I am the asshole.
It’s strange of what the New Year brings. Visions of changed lives, hopes, empty promises and, insight.
Driving across the cement jungle on my way to work, I thought about things that I have come to understand or have known in my short span of existence. One of them was Love.
I had thought that I had understood the mysteries of love, but I see that I know only the words. To define love would only detract from the power of it, and I was set to do just that, because I didn’t understand. You see, in the times we live in, if we fully don’t understand something we try to define or analyze it till it withers and blows away with the sands of time. What I had mistaken for Love was not love, but passion, devotion, compassion, patience (in some things), compromise, beauty, simplicity, anger, and frustration.
The moment I came to that conclusion I thought I spied a rainbow through the windshield. At the same time I found that something inside me had withered away and died. That wasn’t a rainbow; it was just another distortion in my vision, like a crack in the window of my life.
Don’t think that I disbelieve in love or that I will never find it, love just has to come to me before I will look in its face. Instead I will focus on the things that make me who I am. The things that I thought were love.
I walk towards my vast cycle of hopelessness, learning only sorrow. The path I sought was a brown-gray in color moving off to the north. The scenery around the path was a contrast of lava and water, yet no temperature to match them. The devastating mist that enveloped me swallowed my soul until I was defenseless. The sky above me was a violent gray-blue encompassing the world around. Then, the rain fell. It washed over the world like a waterfall onto an oil painting. It pelted my back with a rhythm like that of a snare drum on a march. A rhythm that relaxed my soul, relaxed my body… Relaxed me…. Then all conscience was awakened when the path around me started to tremble. The path erupted like a volcano throwing earth and smoke and fire into the air. Through that chaos, a black and silver dragon, the size of a castle, presented himself with red eyes staring down hungrily at me. He stood perched with his wings extended, mouth closed, and regarded me like a starving cat would a field mouse. At that moment I knew that whether I live or die he was my master….
As dragons, we travel through the night where energy is formed.
As the whispers of the winds travel through me, I am reminded of where and who I am. I am comfort, and the keeper of the dragon. I am Noah, the blue wizard.
The forest around me is filled with lush green pines. Dense foliage surrounds their toes threatening to cut-off the life supply they need most to survive.
As I sit in my surroundings, I look out to the plain where my companion was playing. Knox, a green crested dragon, was playing with the butterflies in the breeze. His wingspan of sixty feet twirled the butterflies in the air like leaves in a tornado. His eyes were emerald green, his heart of gold.
He found me when I was a child, when the first full moon of my sixteenth year had shown its face to the world below. At first it was a dream, like a whisper of a phantom in a fog, shortly after he physically appeared. He was my protector, my destiny…
When you rise, you rise like the sun on a beautiful day. I forever desire to feel that warmth that radiates away from you. I long to hold you in my arms so that we may be together till eternity ends. I desire to taste the sweetness from your lips until it is all that quenches my thirst. I wish to bath in the fragrance of your body, so that I may always be reminded of you wherever I go.
She is simple, yet intoxicating.
She is simple, yet beautiful.
She is nothing that I have looked for in a woman, yet everything I want.
Brown eyes,
Brown hair,
Soft skin,
Gentle voice,
Sweet smell, need I go on?
I couldn’t describe enough about her to give her justice, and my mind draws a blank when she comes near.
I think a lot about when I will see her next, and when I do…. I glow with the happiness that she gives me.
How can a daisy among roses capture me so completely? When you find out, I don’t want to know, for being captured like this has no wrong.
